At Home No Matter Where I Am

I don’t teach breathwork at AVO Yoga Studio, I officially live on the road in my van, I am now an aunt, Connected Camping is over for the year, and probably so many other changes in between have happened in the last month or so. And somehow, I’ve been pretty neutral about it all. I guess because all of them (minus the aunt one) was my decision. Making decisions is usually a whole ordeal for me, and at times it definitely still is but overall I’ve gotten better and choosing what’s best for me, regardless of whatever “what ifs” run through my mind.

I’m currently typing this from the dining room of my childhood home in New Jersey. The sun is shining but its brisk outside, not to mention I just had a smoothie which has me extra chilly. Two days ago I was just hanging out in Florida playing volleyball with a light sweat going. And a couple weeks before then I was freezing my butt off in Minneapolis. I’ve been all over the place but yet at home no matter where I am.

But okay, let me just say how nervous I was that morning I drove off from Atlanta in my van. What am I doing?! was all I could keep thinking. Like why on Earth am I doing this? How long will I be gone? All of the logistics ran through my head cause I’m so used to planning and then I just started the engine, took some breaths, and was on my way. Sometimes I don’t even realize how “brave” or bold the things I’ve done are until I look back on it all. Granted, its only been one week of official van life, but so far I’ve loved it. And honestly it’s been pretty easy. Super grateful for the people I know in Florida who have helped along the journey.

There’s also so much more space to fill time with the breath. Instead of any mindless scrolling or any other distractions, it just makes sense to pause and breathe more. I will say there’s this underlying “worry” some days where I’m like, Wait… I really have no obligations?! Liberation can be scary and who knew it? Finally getting what you want, who knew it’d be intimidating af. But I am so so so grateful beyond anything.

So many chapters beginning and ending and beginning. How have you all been the last month or so? Have your worlds shifted?